Do you want help?

When helping your child, ask her if she wants help instead of if she needs help.

We focus a lot on language and how we say things here on Tinkerbell Road. It stems from my days of training trainers and teaching about the brain. One rule is that people don’t respond well when they feel threatened, judged, or otherwise emotionally vulnerable. The same goes for kids.

Imagine, you are working a project at work with a little difficulty. The co-worker who can do it with ease walks by and says “need help?” What is your first reaction…”hell no I don’t need help!”

We are better at everything our little Boogie does, and she knows it. (Well, except for talking with animals in books.)

I try not to ask “Do you need help?” but rather ask “Do you want help?”

Saying “want” instead of “need” removes all the anxiety and pressure. It creates a safe way for your kid to get help wihtout feeling like she needs it. No one really wants to be told they need help, right? Change the way you offer help and build this layer of emotional safety and trust.

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